


Sweet Before Bitter

by QuestionableCorrosion



Category: End Roll (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-17
Updated: 2016-09-17
Packaged: 2018-08-15 13:15:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8057827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuestionableCorrosion/pseuds/QuestionableCorrosion
Summary: Russell discovers Heaven, at least for a while.





	Sweet Before Bitter

The sky and the sea came together in the horizon, so smoothly Russell couldn't tell where one began and one ended.  
  
He felt an urge to sink his feet into the azure waters before him, but that would have scared the fish away. He'd do it later. For now, he settled for admiring the slow march of the clouds reflected in the water from one edge of the pier to another, and making sure he had all the equipment necessary for what he was about to do.  
  
He inhaled, then slowly exhaled. It was easier to breathe on the resort than in the real world, or even in the Nameless Town. For that alone, buying it had been worth every single Walnut.  
  
He'd already done a lot since they had arrived in the morning. He had skimmed through several books in the library. He, along with Tabasa, had tried to guess the exact measurements of the resort's manor. He had taken a soak in the bath, and listened to Cody quietly hum an unfamiliar song to herself on the other side of the screen. He had joined Kantera in finding the optimal spot for napping outside, and relaxed on a bench as sunlight danced on his skin. He had had a nice cup of tea and listened to soothing melodies on the radio.  
  
At no point had anyone rushed him, yelled at him, or threatened to attack him. There was nothing but kind faces and the gentle splashing of waves against the pier.  
  
Now, it was time to learn how to fish.  
  
He had purchased a starter pack of bait from a nearby Incarner, and now tried to remember Kantera's advice on getting the bait on the hook. He supposed he could go ask again, but the doctor had wandered off to take another nap, and Russell would rather not have disturbed him.

Finally, he managed to skewer the morsel, and with what he felt was a pretty decent flourish, he threw the hook into the water. It sank with barely a sound.  
  
"You must be very proud of yourself," called a sarcastic voice just behind him.  
  
Russell turned his head to meet eyes with his mirror image. Only, said mirror image had blazing green eyes, and gazed at Russell with the expression of someone who thought he knew more about Russell than Russell himself did.  
  
"Hey," said the informant, stepping forward until he stood next to Russell on the pier.  
  
"How did you get here?" Russell asked, returning his focus to the fishing pole. For all the kind people in town, the informant was the one person who made it quite clear he didn't much care for Russell. The feeling was mutual: Russell thought little of him and his barbed advice.  
  
"It's your dream, isn't it?" the informant looked smug. "I can get anywhere at any time when I'm needed."  
  
"You're not needed here."  
  
"I wouldn't be here if I wasn't." The informant placed his hands in the pockets of his trousers. "So, we're taking it easy today, then."  
  
Russell didn't bother responding. Instead, he concentrated on the fishing pole. He was supposed to feel a sharp pull vibrate from the line when there was a bite, he hazily recalled. Nothing so far, but he had to stay focused. Kantera had told him that more than once, he had nodded off during a fishing trip and been forced to return home empty-handed.  
  
"Weren't you supposed to visit Dragons' Peak with Doctor Kantera today?" the informant continued after a while.  
  
"I'll get to it. It's not like we're in a rush."  
  
"Yes, I suppose there's no rush. Still, most people would get whatever plans they had out of the way before wasting the day away."  
  
"It's hardly a waste." The faintest of smiles rose on Russell's face as he felt a tug on the pole. With one quick motion, he pulled the fish, a creature with a blue wing-like fins, from the water, and carefully unhooked it.  
  
"You don't feel bad for the fish, then?" asked the informant as Russell placed his catch in the cooler.  
  
"No." The informant always wanted him to feel bad about things, but Russell couldn't see what guilt had to do with fishing of all things. "You just said this is my dream. These fish exist so I could catch them."  
  
"And did Cody exist so you could set her on fire?"  
  
Russell said nothing.  
  
"She asked you to take her back to Darcover Town, didn't she? To see if they really cut down the tree, as I recall. And instead, you took her here."  
  
"She likes it here," Russell protested quietly. He picked up his bait box and took out a new morsel.  
  
"Yes, she likes it for now, but would she like it if she knew how long you've been denying her what she actually wants?" The informant's eyes flashed. "Did you know it's almost midnight in the real world?"  
  
"How can you tell?" Russell glanced towards the sky. The sun beamed at him the same way it had the whole day. Real time had little bearing to his dream.  
  
"Hmm...It's a guess. But call it an educated guess. They're quite worried in the real world. You haven't regretted your deeds nearly enough for the experiment to continue for much longer."  
  
"We'll go to Dragons' Peak soon enough." Russell finished with the bait, and recast his line into the water.  
  
"Going to Dragons' Peak isn't the same as feeling regret." The informant chuckled without mirth. "And here I thought you were on the right track when you helped Tabasa make that grave. I know you felt something then. Was that just a fluke?"  
  
"Maybe I didn't feel anything." Russell had, in fact, felt a twinge of something he had to assume was guilt, but it had passed as soon as he had registered is. "It's what you're supposed to do when something dies, that's all. Mark the grave and make the offering. And maybe hold a funeral procession," he added as an afterthought, remembering one of the books in the resort library.  
  
The informant's smile widened. "I wonder if they'll have any of those for you when they execute you."  
  
It really was much easier to deal with the informant by saying nothing.  
  
The informant waited for a little longer, then shrugged. "Fine. It's your decision. I can't stop you from squandering your final days if that's what you wish."  
  
He stepped out of Russell's field of vision. "Ah, yes. I'll give you one last piece of information. That feeling you felt when Tabasa told you about his dreams? You felt it, no matter what you say now. You didn't like it very much, did you?"  
  
The bottom of Russell's stomach quivered.  
  
"I suppose someone like you wouldn't know that kind of feeling is good for you." Russell could hear the smirk in the informant's voice without seeing it. "Think of it as bitter medicine. You need to drink it up if you want to get better. ...That's all for now."  
  
Russell turned his head. The informant had vanished like thin smoke.  
  
He turned back towards the water and took a deep breath, listening to the waves. They were no longer quite as soothing as they had been a moment ago.  
  
If the informant really knew everything, like he seemed to think he did, he must have known Russell wasn't doing this to waste time. He must have known Russell intended to keep going sooner rather than later. He must have known Russell wanted to savour the novel feeling that was tranquility just a moment longer.  
  
The informant must have known this was the first time he had felt true peace since helping Tabasa with the grave, and the second time in his life at all. Was it really that bad to want to remain happy?  
  
He sat down on the pier, careful to keep his feet above water, narrowing his world only to the sea, the fish waiting for him in it, and the gentle sun far above...

* * *

  
  
"—sell? Russell?"  
  
Russell opened his eyes to meet the concerned gaze of Cody's bright red eyes. She was crouching down next to him, her hand tentatively on his shoulder.  
  
Funny. He hadn't known it was possible to fall asleep in the dream and not wake up on a cold hospital bed, with the recording of a nurse taunting him.  
  
"Hi," he mumbled.  
  
"You shouldn't sleep in a place like this." Cody sounded genuinely worried, even though all of Russell above the knees was safely on the pier. "You could've fallen in!"  
  
"I dozed off." As an afterthought, he added. "Sorry." It meant nothing to him, but it was a part of the script in these situations.  
  
"I mean...it's not like you did it on purpose." Cody's worry melted into sheepishness. She retracted her hand. "Sorry for startling you."  
  
"It's fine."  
  
Now that Russell was awake, Cody's face relaxed. She sat down next to him on the pier.  
  
"I meant to thank you again for bringing me here. It's really wonderful." Her voice was dreamy. "I wish I could stay here forever."  
  
Russell nodded.  
  
"Actually," Cody gave him a shy smile. "This is what I always thought Heaven would be like. Just an island in the middle of a deep ocean, with warm water and golden sand. All quiet and peaceful. I was taught it would be something a little different, but even so..." She gazed into the horizon.  
  
Russell couldn't for the life of him remember ever dreaming of Heaven, but this might have been his idea of it, too. "What does your brother say Heaven is like?"  
  
"I don't know, actually. I've never asked. He doesn't talk much about Heaven. Or Hell, for that matter." She paused. "My mother used to talk about it, though. She said all those close to us who died would keep watching us from Heaven, and make sure we're safe."  
  
Russell made no reply. He raised his pole to see some crafty fish had made away with the bait while he slept. Wordlessly, he returned the hook to land and reached for the bait box.  
  
"...Hey, Russell," said Cody after a prolonged silence. Russell turned to see her eyes were as serious as ever. "I know it's a lot to ask after all this, especially since it's so far away from here, but," she bit her lip, "if we have time, I'd still like to go back to Darcover Town. I know there's been a change of plans with all this," she waved her hand towards the manor, "but..."  
  
"We'll go." Russell interrupted her.  
  
Cody visibly relaxed. "Thank you." Her cheeks coloured. "Sorry, I didn't mean to pressure you."  
  
"It's fine. I think going there is a really good idea."    
  
Idly, he wondered how things would have turned out if he had simply spoken to Cody before setting fire to the church. Would she have been as kind to him in real life as she was in the dream? Would that only have made him hate her more?  
  
What would she do if he told her what he had done?  
  
Both thinking about Cody, and thinking about the dead tree in Darcover Town made his stomach churn. It was the same kind of nausea he had felt the day before, with Tabasa and the grave.  
  
_"Bitter medicine."_ The informant's voice had been thick with sarcasm, but that didn't mean his words hadn't contained a kernel of truth. Maybe even more than a kernel.  
  
"We'll go," he repeated quietly, "after I catch one more fish."  
  
Cody nodded. "Yeah, that sounds fair. There's no rush."  
  
She looked on with a calm smile on her face as Russell stood up and cast his line. The visible portion of the hook gleamed like silver as it flew across the air.  
  
A moment longer. Just one more moment in Heaven. That was all he asked for.  
  
Russell breathed slowly as the hook sank back into water.  
  
Who cared about "soon", when there was "now"?


End file.
